Put Some Hair On Your Chest

admin - June 8, 2018

Dads tip to become a man

As young men, we are constantly under the social pressure of being a mans man. This pressure is created by none other than the women of the world. It’s not their fault, I blame Hollywood. The expectation has been set by the Don Drapers, Tom Sellecks, old spice commercials with guys chopping down trees, and whatever other manly man portrayed in Hollywood.

I completely understand women face the challenge of competing with supermodels or movie stars, but do you really understand what it’s like having to be some whiskey drinking, tree chopping, cowboy, fancy suit wearing guy? Its tough and the struggle is real!

The dating scene has made me think about this topic a lot, thanks to dating apps, there are so many options. Think about it, you can meet someone that you may never come across unless you swiped right on an app. This has created unrealistic expectations and people have never been quicker to throw the cold shoulder without even talking to you.

So how do we go from frat superstar to manly man? The phrase every guy remembers hearing from their father at a young age comes to mind. “It puts hair on your chest”.

What an amazing statement, because it is ridiculous to think actions will help you grow chest hair, but in the back of our mind we kind of believe them.

As a true writer and lover of our NDSC members, I hit the streets trying to find answers. What do you believe “Puts hair on your chest”?

Whiskey

Maybe not a life lesson we are taught in elementary school, but we all have experienced that first time you smelled whiskey and cringed. That followed with a “this stuff will put hair on your chest” from dad. All the fathers in the world make it clear drinks with umbrellas don’t make you a man, whiskey on the rocks will put some hair on the chest. The jolt you get down your chest when you take that first sip really pushes that chest hair out. Its scientifically proven (Not Actually though).

Black Coffee

Growing up we all watched our dads sip on some coffee before work, it was always black. Can you imagine the look your dad would give you if he heard you order a double mocha swirl with whip cream latte from Starbucks? It would be a look of disappointment. Like dropping the game winning touchdown. Dad tells you a real man drinks his coffee black.

Hard Work

I have searched the internet for hours trying to find evidence that taking out the trash and mowing the lawn actually grows chest hair. I was not able to find any proof. Was this a manipulative move for our parents to get us to do choirs around the house? Maybe, but why risk it!

Building a fire

As a young boy, watching dad gather wood and build a fire is maybe as manly as it gets. Remember the feeling you get seeing your dad build a fire with his bare hands? The look of pride. Our ancestors, the great caveman, would build fires with their bare hands after killing some dinosaur for lunch (I think). Possessing a quality of the caveman is a top priority when being more manly.

Ordering Steak Rare

Dads around the world may be onto something here. Studies show steak increases testosterone levels, which will help that slick chest grow a little peach fuzz. Now does it have to be rare? Probably not, but medium well with a side of ketchup will put you right at the kid’s table.

Grilling

We cannot confirm that grilling makes you manly, but damn it was badass watching dad run the grill. Flipping the burgers with ease while sipping a miller highlife will only help your chances of becoming a grown man. Wearing an apron does not damage the manliness, but it must mention how you are the king of the grill. No cheesy dad jokes.

Budweiser

Bud diesel straight from the can, no microbrews allowed. When dad had to watch your shitty t-ball games during his weekend, he crushed bud heavy. Now we hate to put this manly act down, but beer can increase estrogen levels, hence the “dad” bod. Man boobs are real, beer doesn’t help.

Does light beer increase the chances of growing man boobs? We cannot prove that, but dad would vote yes.

Hot Sauce

Your dad will swear by it, but all it really does is make you sweat like crazy and learn to not drink water when your mouth is on fire. Maybe a double life lesson from Pops?

 

Alright don’t let the world down, the life lessons from dad should help you go from boy to man. It is your responsibility to fulfill your dads wishes to carry on the tradition, don’t f@$# up.

 

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